American Alligator—A Debut Novel by Peter Schnake

I am BACK after a loooooooong hiatus to bring you some very exciting news: my best friend has finally published his debut novel for Kindle! Get it here for only $0.99! The first chapter is free to sample and I dare you to stop reading there.

Here's what I have to say about it (my official Amazon.com review):

I had the pleasure of receiving American Alligator early for review/edits (so you can blame me for any typos/grammar mistakes you may find) and I can tell you that this little gem stays with you.

In just the first chapter, first-time novelist, Peter Schnake, drops the reader in an unlikely setting and ends it cryptically and provocatively. From there, the momentum of Schnake's debut novel carries the reader swiftly through troubled protagonist Josiah's current state of being while supporting it with memories of his past blessed by brilliance but cursed by circumstance.

Josiah's idiosyncracies make him a complex, sometimes pitiable, but always compelling figure. Though tormented by his own limitations, unique to Josiah's existence is the music which flows unbidden from him to his adoring fans and a woman so deliciously warm and desirous that her very presence works like a panacea on Josiah's wounds.

Schnake's solid plot is infused with poetic themes, rich imagery, and effective metaphors executed in such a way to reward both sophomoric and sophisticated readers alike.

I highly recommend this piece not just as a great debut novel, but as an overall high-acheiving work that I trust will more than likely bring well-deserved praise to a young, but accomplished new novelist.

THANK YOU for taking time to read this and this is my unofficial return to blogging...more to come in the coming month, Lovies! I've missed you so!

Gettin' Hitched

My dearest Sarah is getting married this weekend! I don't know her husband-to-be nearly as well as I'd like to, but I know him well enough that I have no reservations about his becoming a permanent fixture in both Sarah's and my life. I can't wait to see my already gorgeous friend dripping in lace and overwhelmed with joy on Sunday and I wish the bride and groom all the blessings and happiness they can stand. Love you, Sweet Sarah.

This is a picture of the two love birds during the same trip during which Chris proposed.

True Love Lives on in My Two Friends

The Wedding of Justin & Alison from Skylar Wright on Vimeo.

I was with the gorgeous bride for the entire day and I can tell you, I never got tired of looking at her—her beauty was, like never before, utterly captivating. And Justin brought tears of pride to my eyes just from looking at him; suddenly, I saw he broke the mold of the man I'd always imagined for my Alison.

Just wanted to tell you both that I love you and I love the love you have. Happy early b-day, Justin!

Here With Me

I'm back in my little French cafe, it seems to be good for writing as I'm certainly not getting any editing done.
As I came up the walk, I noticed that the cushions they'd bought last spring had gone from bright red to a faded poppy color. I knew where all the outlets were when I went inside and the server smiled at me with familiarity as she slid cups of coffee in front of a couple sitting near. Have I really lived here long enough for this? I hardly ever use my GPS to get around anymore, and I even gave directions to a stranger the other day.

I've lived here for well over a year now, and there are some other things that have lost some of their color and some things that retain their brilliance yet. I hardly ever visit the ocean anymore. After I came home from Christmas and flew over it on the way, I didn't feel the need to; I used to feel like if I didn't visit it it might recede and disappear altogether, so strange and wonderful it was to have it at my disposal on a day-to-day basis. Formalities at work have fallen by the wayside and I am more frank with my colleagues and they are more real with me too. I feel less guilty than I used to when staying indoors during a gorgeous day, having grown up with the mentality that a day of sun was a sin to waste.

Though I am far from the honeymoon stage, I am happy here. I don't mean to stay forever, but this place is good for me. I miss my people every day, not one goes by that I don't regret not having you here. Different days for different people: when I walk into Anthropologie (I like to think of it as a clothing museum due to the exorbitant prices) Leslie is by my side finding the pieces that are just on the wrong side of style and making jokes and eating popcorn with me whenever I watch an unusual film; when I'm curled up at home with a book and candlelight, Alison is across from me on the couch, our feet in each other's laps and we end up enthralled in conversation instead of our novels; Sarah is always with me whenever I'm near the ocean and thinking of her often results in my dropping a thank you note to God for whatever is good that day; Heather is there when I wrap myself in the music she's given me, her music is home to me; Laura's laugh echoes in my ears whenever I see something rediculous or offbeat and I can easily conjure her hug when I need it; when I hear Spanish, I pretend Jessica is there to help me figure out what we just heard--sometimes we make up our own translations; Peter, you are the smell of an orange to me; Gina, you sit invisible across from me whenever I dine alone at a restaurant or go out to coffee; Tiffany's words return to me when I lose clarity and usually bring me to prayer.

This list is by no means exhaustive, these are just the people on my mind at the moment. Thank you for your unwavering support and friendship despite the miles and the duration. You all make me a better woman and I'm so blessed to know you.

No Puedo Suportarla!

I HAVE to return to Mexico, and soon!!! I had a dream about a reunion with my ISA girls (ISA is the organization through which I traveled abroad) and it was tear-filled and wonderful and I miss that life so much, three years later. Alison and Jess are the only ones who read this who can identify with the places I name but I hope everyone can appreciate how gorgeous these photos are that I found on the Web. (Alison, algun dia tenemos que viajar alla juntos, en serio. Debemos ir este verano/otono porque nuestra otra amiga no puede ir a CO con nosotros, entonces, propongo que nos vamos.)

I miss meeting in front of Teatro Juarez with our other gals, Jess and knowing that any night we could pick up a few guys on the steps to be our dates for a night of dancing. Capitolio was my favorite for dancing, Colorado was Jess' but the first night we danced in GTO was at Havana with the viejitos; I also remember that that's where Alissa stole the show dancing with Felipe while Amber downed the pina colada I bought (although she claimed to be lactose intolerant...more like cheap!). Do you remember how Elisha and the other gals loved WhyNot? We liked El Bar above ISA and pretty much anywhere that had salsa dancing.

I was and am still obsessed with Cafe Tal, their bitter hot chocolates are unsurpassed and their coffee was great too. I sat in there for hours drawing, thinking, reading...it was fabulous. That little pastry shop where Lisa always bought us pastries for dinner was nearby and we always had to resist buying yummies there on the way to school (except once we gave in...ONCE in five weeks! Not too bad). It was just past Jardin de Embajadores.

Jess, I can't believe I'm saying this but I really miss puffing up those hills with you, you slowed down for me and didn't tell me ever but I knew. Thanks for not leaving me behind; you know I would've gotten so lost.

Finally, I remember our totally unprepared hike to La Bufa, repelling down, having our leader drive off and leaving us miles above the city, and us collapsing at Cafe Sol and eating a ton of food and having beer. SUCH a great day.

My Heart Leaps

I owe this post to my friends and loved ones. In the last year, "my people" as I term you all have tirelessly issued encouragement and patient words of wisdom to me during my year-long season of starting from scratch with God. Indefatigable ears have listened to my angry tirades, dejected whining, and tear-filled frustrations. I can't thank you all enough for your support, God speaks through you and I am validated, in part, by the excellent people I know who still accept me in all my messiness.

So in short, I guess I'm saying that I'm back. I am in God's Word and I can't believe how much I missed these stories. My friend Laura Karlin is someone who breathes life into scripture, brings its context to the 21st century, and reminds me how rock awesome God's narrative is. Thank you, friend. It is truly a living Word.

I've been praying more, I still don't hear God like I did when I was young, but I will wait and I will try to be better about listening for him. I have seen small miracles through prayer recently and I am gonna go ask for some more of those, they're amazing!
Be still and know that I am God Psalm 46:10

I've decided to "put both feet down" in San Diego for now. I am going to try to live more presently and accept this as my home for a while. I will be slightly less available to those back at home, but know that my phone is always on (literally) and all of you are in my prayers. I miss you more than I can say.

I am in a growth group training so I might lead a Bible study in the not-so-distant future and I'm asking God what His will would be for that because I know if it were up to me, I'd sit back and be a participant in a Bible study, not a leader.

I think God's been trying to draw me near to Him all this time, I fought His mighty embrace but He just kept hanging on to me! I finally submitted at first, with bitterness, but gradually I'm beginning to receive His closeness.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers, encouragement, and example.

Her Morning Elegance

I dedicate this blog post to my Alison who is undergoing so many refreshing, messy, necessary, and brave changes at this time. Moving away is the best hardest thing I ever did, if it's more hard than best before you go, give me a call. Love ya.

These are the women with whom I rang in the new year, WHAT a blessing!

My mother made an observation about our generation the other day; "You know, between the Facebook, blogs, Myspace business, your generation is extremely self-involved." Naturally, I was at first defensive but couldn't muster any response that could prove the contrary. This got me thinking, "What do I get from this blog, but more importantly, what can I possibly say that would make it worth reading and advantageous to others?" I don't have the answer to this yet, but I would love to hear your thoughts. Would you like editing tips? More stories about strangers? Book lists? Recipes? I can only offer what I know, but I'm open to suggestions!

If you're here for an update, I can help with that:

What I'm reading: The Book Thief (it is AMAZING, I can't believe I'm not through it yet, but it is wonderful and I'm at least happy to not be rushing this story)

What I'm cooking: One terribly gone-wrong turkey chili recipe (threw it out), one successful souffle, one "dump cake" which was so good I had to ruin it before I ate the whole pan (so, after eating too much of it, threw it away too), a curry-coconut pumpkin soup that was divine with a few tweaks to the recipe, and a couple dozen pre-made Trader Joe's choc. chip cookies for some friends.

What I've been doing for fun: Watching The Happening with friends (we laughed through the whole thing), basking in the fabulousness of Lindsey, Annie, and Courtny's new home, and trying new coffee shops (wi-fi nomad that I am). Driving with the windows down in our 80-degree weather, I'm completely in awe of this climate. Enjoying restaurant week with a hot date (thanks Jenni!)

Happys: Reading the Bible again, being back in my bed, reading while sipping tea I got for Christmas using water from the tea kettle I was gifted with too, seeing the ocean, the fact that my workplace brews Starbucks coffee everyday, my new vests I got for Christmas, early spring cleaning. Sharing Sarah's excitement as she continues to expand her circle of friends and community, Alison's excitement as she moves to Rochester and actually having the experience to back up my advice to her on moving.

Crappys: Work is really hectic right now and I'm nervously taking on my biggest editing project yet, I miss my people in NE even though I love being here in CA and can't imagine being anywhere else, my resistance to getting into a workout routine--why do I make this so hard?

I'll think of something enlightening and hopefully useful for my next post, but for now this is my update for 2009 and I hope all of you are having a good start to the new year!

Broken Toy

This isn't a reactionary or post-trauma post, this was my way of explaining to my very dear friend, Peter, why taking my life out of God's hands and into my own never works. Unfortunately, by recycling my little story, Peter now knows just how very pleased I was with myself for coming up with it in the first place. Oh well.

"I'm like a kid who’s been given a beautiful, complicated toy and is being taught how to work the toy. My father patiently and lovingly shows me how to not just play with it, but how all of its little parts work so I can enjoy it best. But I get excited mid-lesson and run off with the toy to enjoy it, thinking I can work it all on my own. I'm so happy to just have the toy all to myself, no sharing, no lessons. My father patiently and wordlessly stands by, knowing what's next. After a short while, I soon become bored with, then frustrated, and finally furious at the toy and pound it to near uselessness, but still father stands by. I know my father's there; I want to pretend the he's all smug and is doing this as revenge or punishment. Neither is true, the father just waits for me to come back, eager to help me but knowing I have to decide for myself. The last thing I want to do is the last thing I can do, I crawl back to my father with my now broken and totally screwed up toy and cry. My father scoops me up, places me in his lap, and helps me fix the toy until we can pick up where we left off in the lesson. He tells me he loves me so much."

Like I told Peter, I can't promise that this is all 100% theologically sound, I can promise it's much more complicated, but this is how it feels to me. If you're reading this, whoever you are, no advice from me; just know that if you've messed up or broken your life, you're not the first, you won't be the last. We're in this together and I believe God can fix it.

A Dedication

I wrote this song for my Alison a couple days ago skipping back with a bag full of nectarines, plums, mangos, and peaches from the little fruit stand close to my apartment:





La fruta la fruta me hace feliz,
La fruta la fruta me hace feliz,
Duraznos y pinas y fresas tambien,
La fruta la fruta me hace bien!

Party on a pineapple Alison. Party on a pineapple.

Failure to Launch No Longer

Having spent a long weekend with my dearest friend Sarah, I'm inspiried to take full advantage of my situation. Therefore, I resolve to:
1) Meet my upstairs neighbor and establish what hours it would be polite to engage in piano playing
2) Once a week, find a new coffee shop to do my leisure reading in the evenings
3) Discover new walk/jogging paths
4) Sign up for a 5k race
5) Cook/bake something new every week (probably based on Linda's recipes which she so diligently posts)
6) Watch at least one sunset on the beach every week
7) Go to a Museum every two weeks
8) Attend one event in the city every month (this weekend, Art Walk in Little Italy!)
9) Continue to pursue finding a church where I can comfortably and enthusiastically worship
10) Pursue mission work with Melissa in Tijuana, para practicar mi espanol y ayudar la gente de bajos recursos

This list stems from a constructive planning/advisory session with the wiser-than-she-thinks Sarah Knudsen. I already miss her sunny-side-up outlook, her effervescent personality, and bubbly laugh so much--but having spent this stolen time with her, I'm left refreshed and empowered. Thanks Kiddo.

Nuit por Leslie, tres bon, no?

Okay, don't think I'm crazy, but when one spends enough time on one's own, one gets ideas.
Tonight, I had a Leslie Night. Leslie Dickey is my good friend living in York, NE--though she is the kind of person one would imagine living in New York. To describe her, I would begin with words like edgy, creative, epicurious, aesthetic, funny, and intriguing. She is off-beat enough to test the limits of my life inside the box, but never so presumptuous to push me outside of it without my consent. There are certain small things Leslie had made me appreciate that, were it not for her, I would've passed up without a thought. So it was the least I could do when I decided to dedicate an entire evening to her. My agenda was as follows:
Come home and take off all the accessories that made my outfit fabulous, yet a little less than comfortable during my workday, made a real meal, poured a glass of chardonnay and turned on "Paris, je T'aime", at her recommendation that I rent it. I proceeded to cry through most of the middle, baked three chocolate chip cookies for myself, then ate them warm out of the oven and began to feel better immediately. Finally, after the movie was over, I made a mixed-CD to be proud of and flipped through Blueprint magazine she'd loaned to me before I left Lincoln. I wasn't reading it though, I mostly just flipped through looking at the pictures and imagining what motif she would decide on when she finally got her own place. If I had read the magazine, I imagine all the funky fonts would've read, over and over, "I miss Leslie". When she reads this, she will probably make some girly-cooing noise, then come to her senses and realize how hideously corny that last sentence was.
I'll put on my newly-mixed CD before I go to bed and let it run until it runs out or I fall asleep, whichever comes first, and include Leslie in my prayers because I am thankful for her and God deserves to know it.