Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Pet Peeves, Vexations, and Bete Noires


What pushes you over the edge? I'm a tolerant(ish) person, but there are simply some things in this world that are not to be borne:

1) Cotton balls. I tried to post a picture for this, but when I got to google images and saw ALL those cotton balls, I about died. Seriously, unbidden, shudder after shudder went through my body and I as soon as I had control of myself I navigated away from the page. They leave little icky cottony filmys behind and when you squeeze them (another shudder) they go "eeeee-er eeeeee-er." UGH, I can't stand it. As a practical joke in high school, my "friends" filled my locker with cottonballs, I had to miss my next class while I got a teacher to help me throw them away. I'm a little better now, I can touch them if they're saturated thoroughly with water or nail polish remover or if I absolutely have to, rolling around in my palm but never actually holding them between my fingers (I know people who have a similar reaction to popsicle sticks).
2) Not knowing what language I'm listening to. There are roughly 6,500 languages spoken in the world today, and despite the fact I can only recognize a tiny fraction of those, it drives me BANANAS to not know without a doubt what language I'm hearing.
3) Here are the big road-rage inducers: people who don't turn right on red when it's permissible (ah!), people who leave their signals on so you have NO idea when/if they're going to turn (ah!!), and the coup de grace, people who signal one way then turn the other (ah!!!).
4) Luke-warm coffee (or luke warm anything, for that matter).
5) Discovering you definitely wore the wrong shoes for the occasion but having no way of knowing that when you were dressing.
6) Waking up with your whole arm asleep, a charlie horse, or with hair in your face.
7) Sneezing just after/while applying masacara.
8) JUST settling under the covers, propped up with a good book, cracking it open, then being blindsided by sleepiness when all you want to do is read.
9) Folding a fitted sheet...is an oxymoron.
10) Hearing the word "Anyways." I'm usually good about not taking my wordsmithing out of the office to the point of judging, but PEOPLE, it's "Anyway." "Anyways" isn't a word. I promise.

That's all! I'm actually having a very good day, but it's not bad to air out one's pet peeves every now and then, even if they give you a reputation for acting like this guy:

Have a peeve-free day!

5 comments:

Davenport Dame said...

Totally agree with the "Anyways" thing. Totally. Also, I get the "I seen you yesterday" quote from my students all the time. Other pet peave by students: "So, what if you were a chick?" or "Does that happen to chicks?" Chicks referring to women, not small, fluffy animals. I rail on 'em for that shit.

tiffany said...

You make me laugh. And that's why we are friends.

G said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
G said...

Edit:

Sometimes the only time I sneeze during the day is after applying mascara.

I have not yet mastered the art of folding a fitted sheet.

I say "anyways." Unless I think about it before hand. Then I think I just leave it out because I can't remember which is the correct way to say it.

-Greta

Benjamin said...

It's super fun for me to get to catch up on so much in one day!

My version of number 8 is curling up in bed only to immediately have the insatiable urge to pee. Just ruins the moment, really.